Every song you hear on Spotify or Itunes. The large catalogue of romantic flix on Netflix. The insane amount of wedding pictures on Instagram… it seems like no matter where you try to look, everyone is in couple and talking about them. Relationships seem to be endlessly celebrated like they’re some kind of life-affirming achievement, leaving the majority of us who are single in a permanent state of confusion.
Of course, relationships can be great, but really, so can being single. It’s 2018, and a massive 52% of us in England and Wales are single. Not only are fewer young adults married than there were a decade ago, but fewer young people are in committed relationships.
We think this is something to be celebrated! Delaying committed relationships, marriage and starting a family until later in life allows more time for self-discovery, career progression, or travel.
We do know that sometimes for some of us, being single isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, but fear not, single gals and guys. Here at Sultry Secrets, we have plenty of experience in how to have the absolute best time when flying solo.
So whether you’re new to the single life or a seasoned solo-player, we can help show you how to be both happy and single, because the two aren’t mutually exclusive!
CHANGE YOUR MINDSET
(or that of those around you)
If you see being in love or in a relationship as an accomplishment that you’ve not yet achieved, you need to change your mindset if you’re going to find happiness and peace being single.
Falling in love is great, of course, but love is an emotion, not an accomplishment. It’s not a thing that you can “find” then “have”, but an active emotional state. Comparing getting into a relationship to getting a promotion or buying a house implies that if you work hard enough you’ll get what you want. Unfortunately, finding a relationship doesn’t work like that.
You can experience love in a number of different ways – not just through a relationship with your partner. Focus on your relationships with your family and friends instead: you’ll find they’re great sources of love, joy and fun that you’ll need whether single or coupled up.
Don’t dwell on what you don’t have and miss out on the fun you could be having. Which brings us to…
When you’re single, you’re have the option to embrace big, life-changing opportunities without having to worry about how it’ll impact somebody else. You can travel alone to anywhere in the world, can focus wholeheartedly on your career, you can eat anything you want for tea and enjoy plenty of guilt-free flirting on nights out.
Naturally, you’ll find yourself experiencing much more, meeting many new people and ending up in all kinds of mad situations with your friends. Weekends become the time to delve into what you really love, be that partying, playing sports, making crafts, reading, or just spending time with your friends. Beats sitting in front of the telly watching Gogglebox, right?
GET TO KNOW YOURSELF
Often being in a relationship can make you forget about self-development and what your own personal goals are. Being single prompts you to take a look inside yourself and identify the type of person you want to be.
We think our gal Taylor Swift says it best:
“I recommend to all my friends that they be alone for a while. When you’re in love, or dating someone, you filter your life decisions through their eyes. When you spend a few years being who you are, completely unbiased, you can figure out what you actually want.”
DISCOVER A WHOLE NEW KIND OF SEX
Don’t think being single means your sex life has to suffer. You can now discover a whole new kind of pleasure, where you don’t have to care about anyone but yourself. Take a look at our masturbation guide for the best techniques, as well as the health benefits of embracing the self-loving you deserve
Sex toys are a single girl’s best friend. From classic Rampant Rabbits to bullets, to vibrators, there’s a whole world of toys out there that can help you discover what you really like and how to reach the “Big O”. And trust us, you’ll have a lot of fun doing it.
If you’re new to using toys, take a look at our beginner’s guide to sex toys to get you started.
DON’T OVERTHINK IT
Sometimes people are in relationships and other times they’re not. The key to being happy in either situation is to live in the moment and take each day as it comes. There’s absolutely no point in worrying about how your future is going to turn out – you’ll miss the amazing things happening right in front of you. Embrace those moments and you’ll be much happier, regardless of whether there’s a special someone in your life.